There is a point that every parent reaches when your child finally sleeping pretty regularly, formula is a thing of the past and you can actually have a coherent conversation with your child because they are speaking real words. It’s the point where you start thinking about having another baby.
Now six months ago when I was asked that question it took all I had not to laugh hysterically at the sheer craziness that was that question. Have another baby?! I finally had a kid on a schedule and sleeping to the point where I didn’t look and feel like I belonged on The Walking Dead. I was able to plan days better and could leave the house with nothing but a couple diapers and some juice. I was finally getting some freedom back and the idea of starting all over again with a new baby just made me want to go to bed and take a nap.
But things are starting to change, I feel myself opening up to the idea of having another little one around. Maybe it’s the fact that my son is so independent, he has no problem giving a kiss and saying “Bye!” and going back to what he was doing. He always seems to know that we are coming back. It could also be the fact that my basement has become a baby wasteland of outgrown clothes and toys and it makes me miss the adorable onesies and bouncers.
So the discussion is on the table. But what a discussion. Can we afford it? How will it affect daycare costs? Most importantly, are we ready to do this again? Every time the questions roll through my head I can’t help but look back at the early weeks of my sons life. I was home on maternity leave, I had all the time in the world to be with him and I relished those early morning moments where the sun was just starting to rise and it was just him and I cuddling before the rest of the house woke up.
I miss that.
I miss having this little person just want nothing else in the world but to hold you and be held by you. My son is so busy playing and exploring the world around him that those big hugs just hold him back. My husband and I always keep saying that we can’t imagine having an only child, while it’s tough now once our guy is in school and into his own activities we know we would regret stopping at one.
What’s holding me back?
I think the main thing making me pause is fear. While having our first child defiantly turned our lived upside down, we were adults who knew what we were getting into and it was two against one. Someone could always get a break if needed. Now if we have two, I feel like my son would be losing attention and have no idea why. It kills me to think that he would think that we were loving him less because of a needy newborn.
So the discussion continues……
What did you mommies with more than one do when you faced this fork in the road? Did you take more time or did you just go for it?